Songs for the DIYper set

(Paul Kaufman kicks out the jammies with new kid-friendly lyrics to old favorites.)

I’ve mentioned before that a little bundle of joy arrived at our house last fall.  Our daughter is six months old now, and she’s a wonder to behold. She’ll soon reach the age at which I have to stop singing the real lyrics to “I Wanna Be Your Dog” during our musical play times.

But I’m thinking that instead of discarding such classics altogether, how about substitution of age-appropriate lyrics? I think Dr. Seuss could probably help with a lot of these situations:

Somebody’s calling on the phone,
A voice says, hey, is Dee Dee at home?
Do you want to wear some socks?
Do you want to box a Gox?
Do you want wear some Gox box socks
?”

Or

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs31/300W/i/2008/232/7/a/Punk__s_Not_Dead_by_prettyfreakjesper.jpgI’m waiting for my Man.
He’s the guy with the Green Eggs and Ham.
Up to Lexington, 1-2-5
Gonna have breakfast right after I arrive,
I’m waiting for my Man
.”

They don’t have to involve Seuss:

“Now I’m ready to close my eyes.
And now I’m ready to close my mind.
Now I’m ready to take a nap.
As I lay right here on my daddy’s lap
.”

Kiddie pictures from the Che Underground!

I’d say these sound better than a lot of the Barney-licious pablum that’s out there.

Okay, gang, make up your own!

— Paul Kaufman

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21 thoughts on “Songs for the DIYper set

  1. I just sang ’em “Things We Said Today” and “Heart of Gold” -- no alterations.

    Oh, and also “B-A-B-Y, Baby” by Carla Thomas, with some minor subject/object reversal… 🙂

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  2. This thread reminds me of an album I bought a year or two ago, My First Punk Rock Record by Chip Kinman and PCH, which I think includes actual children. Kinman, you likely remember, has San Diego County roots and played in the Dils, Rank and File, Blackbird, and Cowboy Nation. I liked the album, which sounds a little like the Ramones playing Sesame Street, but I couldn’t get the kids interested in it. They preferred the Shaggs!

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  3. the album conjure
    which is music to the text of
    Ishmael Reed
    by various artists released in 1984
    on american clave label
    has a great tune called
    foolology

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  4. I’m not awake enough, yet, so I couldn’t come up with anything to fix “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails. I’ll just throw it out there and let more lucid minds take a swing at it.

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  5. Mad Magazine had a Star Trek musical , and I remember a song sung to the Beatle’s Yesterday,

    Pinkus East
    Thats where budget conscious spacemen feast
    eat the most and pay the least
    beam on down to Pinkus East.

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  6. “Yes, how many spots have a bi-nar-y sun where a guy can get a two-sided tan? … The answer, my friends, is here on Pinkus South! The answer is here on Pinkus South.”

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  7. Our little one is Martha- together, we could have a mega White Album-themed party. Anyone got a kid named Rocky? Or Prudence?

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  8. Please allow me to excuse myself
    I gotta go, and get rid of some waste
    what goes in must then come back out
    we don’t eat food just for the taste

    I ate my share of pizza and pop
    of fruits and vegetables and grains
    made real sure my plate was left clean
    and my stomach knows how to make food change

    Cheese and meat too
    it all ends up the same

    It’s something we all do
    but it’s not polite to shout its name

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  9. I’m finished with my breakfast
    ‘cos I puked it up onto the floor
    People try to feed me things
    That I do not want anymore.

    Can you help me?
    Get me out of this chair…..

    Make a meal for me to try
    But I will pout and I will cry.
    Don’t take me to a restaurant
    ‘cos Mommy’s milk is what I want.

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  10. A few years ago some good friends adopted a baby girl from China. She was about 1-year-old at the time. When they brought her over to meet our family, we played a Loretta Lynn honky tonk album. The baby swooned, climbed up on the coffee table, swayed to the rhythm, and sang her heart out in gibberish.

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  11. Now that I’m frequently singing the current chart toppers Twinkle, Twinkle/Alphabet Song to my daughter, it’s become apparent to me that these make a perfect three-chord segue into “I Fought the Law”, closely followed by a lyrically sanitized version of the Injections “Prison Walls”.

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