Over 80,000 spam served!

Can of SpamToday we mark a hidden milestone in the history of this blog: Thanks to the hard-working spam-blocking software deep in our boiler room, we’ve now intercepted 80,000 bogus spam messages intended to clutter up the comments section of Che Underground: The Blog.

I comb through this digital crap on a daily basis because occasionally your legitimate comments (almost 18,000 of those since we started the blog in February 2008) are misdirected into the spam filter. (If you don’t see your comment appear on a page, ping me at cheunderground@gmail.com; chances are good it’s fallen into the digital lint trap.)

While clearing out this dreck (as well as phony user registrations) is kind of a drag, the fractured English and weird non sequiturs can also be kind of funny. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, here’s a sampling of our spam comments from the past 24 hours:

“Isn’t Fall Out Boy one of the greatestbandsto ever tour with Blink 182? Wasn’t their tour so good? They’re crazy!” — Setsuko Shives

“Hey there..Nice Site you have here! Just wanna leave a short info to suit your needs about how you can blow the girl’s head at the following Bbq-Party!” — Issac Maez

“Hello!
The name’s John, though most people call me ˜Freaky’. 😛 I’m in my ‘teens’ and kinda lost in the world at the moment ¦however, I’ve found the hippie ‘culture’ and discovered that it fits me very well ¦I’m not trying to fit into it, it just kind of fitted onto me.
I have lots of questions, which hopefully some of the older and wiser people on this board will be able to help answer.
Here’s to hoping this board will be able to help me discover more of myself and fuel my beliefs.
Peace out, John” — online payday

“Hi everyone
Just introduce myself: I am a man (says my wife), I am 50 years old (hmm, that looks bad isn’t it?) and I am a terrible bad programmer (I say myself).
My hobbies: computer (of course), my 17 years old son and of course my wife. I like to play billiard, I do a very little bit and very simple programming in VB and I try to make a site for my billiard-club in the near future.
Keep smiling, John” — payday today

“Whoa, this blog is almost certainly at it over again, the young lady will never stop will she ¦ you can easily take a look at way more silly ladies at webcamgirls.” — Andre Metenosky

“Hi everyone
found this site just randomly..and as i love fashion and all the things that comes with it thought it would b a good idea to join ¦hope ur all friendly..:D
so how is everyone doing?? John” — payday today

“Thanks for giving us such an interesting details! Such a post author is without the shadow of a doubt knows what he is doing but also very intelligent too. There normally aint a limited number of bloggers who can come up with My bff Carolyn told me about this place a number of hours ago however now is the first time I’m visting. Many things, it’s getting bookmarked! Woots!” — Gastroenterologist in New Jersey

“I wanted to pop in and say I’m diggin what you’re sayin’! You’ve made some strong points and while I don’t like everything you’ve said I think you make a good argument. Keep up the good work ˜cus I’ll be checkin’ up on you later. Your blog is on my radar now and I’m interested to see what’s next. And while I’m here I want to give a shout out to girls in bondage because we all need a little bondage in our lives.” — billiard lights

“So who is gonna win in a fight then? Spiderman or Superman? I love Superman, but I think Spiderman looks more like he’s pumped up on the best sports supplements ¦so I reckon Spiderman is gonna win. What do you think?” — Emmy Havice

32 thoughts on “Over 80,000 spam served!”

  1. Oh! I’d like to set this one to the tune of REM’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”:

    “Hello! call: asics shoes homepage richmond melbourne police station richmond community of ethics and meaning springfield missouri powerplant , calvin klein black patent tan heels background on dolce gabbana fashion shows , asolo adventure equipment subway richmond highway alexandria virginai mary loreno richmond or men’s gucci classic loafer alpinestars 360 r drystar , gucci positano handbag gucci mane freaky girl mp3 guess gu 1545 frames and adidas coupons cheap true religion maternity pants guess wege sneakers new anne klein chronograph diamond ladies , zeus renters insurance arches national park arch collapes faux prada bag cesare paciotti handbags london . good day…!!!”

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  5. “Блог хороший слов нет. Но чтобы он развивался нужно чтобы была прибыль т.к когда одни расходы и время пользы мало.”

    I believe that first word is “blog,” and the third is “slob.” This may actually be a Russian fan of Scott Slob.

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  6. “Hey, that Justin Bieber |really is cool,” Emil Landolf tells us. “My family watched him last week. Justin’s performance was super cool. Justin played most of his good stuff.”

    As opposed to all the outtakes and B-sides Master Bieber has racked up throughout his career. Thanks, Emil.

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  7. Here’s advice on how to annoy girls in malls:

    Tips on How to satisfy Girls in the Shopping mall

    If you’re a single guy and aren’t the better at getting a great deal of much less meeting women and are wondering exactly where you would possibly visit obtain and meet a female, then these ten reasonable suggestions on how to satisfy a girlfriend at the shopping mall, ought to appear in mighty handy.

    1 – Go towards foods court. Think it or not, the meals court will be absolute most excellent area in the local mall to meet a toddler. Here’s what you do. Choose a food position and get in line for your meal. Whereas you could be in line, glance close to the region just where anyone is sitting down and eating. Glance for the female sitting down alone, and even two women seated together. When you may have your meal in hand, walk over to the place she or they are sitting and find out if you possibly can join them. If you are trustworthy and straightforward with them, your odds are pretty nice.

    2- Do some contemplating. Previously you even look at going with the local mall to satisfy a girl, sit oneself down and do some critical thinking. Give consideration to how you might speak to a chick and what you may say to her if you may be flourishing. Look at which components from the mall you’d go to. Also, you are gonna will need to invest in some thing whilst there, what do you will need? Last but not least, take into consideration what meeting a gal inside a public place entails. Surely you’ll really have to take a look to get a wedding ring ahead of speaking with a girlfriend, and you’ll ought to consider if it’s wiser to speak with a chick alone or a single who’s with others. At last, you may have to become practical about your own age plus the ages of the gal you want to meet. As in, you will need to tell oneself for being reasonable and do not try out to satisfy ladies that happen to be a lot of younger or older than you can be, or that search out of your league.

    3 – Request allow. As soon as that you’re finally in the local mall, a person within the tactics to meet girls is by asking them for help. Women know that guys have no plan what they are really carrying out once they are buying, so asking for help will not appear such a ridiculous suggestion. Request assistance in picking out a jacket for your own self one example is. Accomplishing so let’s the woman know that you just are single. If she agrees to help you, request her other questions as you grab completely different jackets to test on.

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  8. Food Court? I’m so glad this important advice is making wider circulation, with your diligent assistance, Matthew!

    Although, I am surprised that you didn’t brush up the Google Translation -- tho’ we are both familiar with the original, in Cantonese.

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  12. “Farm {animals|pets} are {great|excellent|fantastic|good|wonderful|terrific|superb|amazing|awesome|outstanding} {help|assist|aid|support} {in the|within the|inside the|inside|from the|with the|in your|while in the|during the|within your} farm {for the|for that|for your|to the} {balance|stability|sense of balance|equilibrium} {of the|from the|with the|in the|on the} vegetation.” — Patience Macaulay

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  13. Could someone please explain the origins of “Woot” for me, please? I don’t LIVE on the Internet… (But I guess I am a HUGE poseur for attending an event called “Wootstock” during Comic-Con weekend!)

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  14. >>Could someone please explain the origins of “Woot” for me, please?

    Lesha: Wikipedia offers a trove of theories:

    The definite origin of the term w00t is unknown but has been seen early on in IRC chats on EFnet. The word “w00t” is a bad spelling of the real word woot, not to be confused with Woot. One theory claims that usage of this term dates back to the mid-1990s, when it was probably derived from the alternative spellings of whoomp and whoot. These spellings are variously used in the phrases, “Whoomp, there it is,” or “Whoot, there it is” from two songs in 1993 from rap groups Tag Team and 95 South, respectively. Another theory is that people started jokingly mimicking trains in children’s books, that went “Woot! Woot!”, doing so as a statement of victory, or applauding good news. (some people today say “Woot! Woot!” while making the hand-gesture of pulling a train’s horn cord). Another possibility is that it came from the vocalization made by the character in games of the Quake series when a jump is performed; however, as Quake was only first released in 1996, this probably only furthered the popularity of the existing term. Others have theorized the term is an acronym for “We Owned the Other Team”, or that “w00t” finds its origin in the sounds of a jubilant Daffy Duck. It has also been alleged that “w00t” is a contraction of the phrase “wonderous loot” used in Ultima Online and “Wonderful Loot” in Everquest whenever a player found large quantities of/or rare valuable items in game. W00t is also somewhat like the Scots word “hoots”, which is used in a similar manner — an exclamation signifying surprise, disbelief, or kindred reaction. Another supposed origin is as an expression used by a cracker (see security cracking) who has just broken into a computer system, obtaining “root” access: “woot, I have root!”

    I’m not familiar with “woots” as a plural noun, however!

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  15. “hihihi! I really like your post on Che Underground: The Blog » Blog Archive » Flyers from the Mendoza Collection. My name is Ho Chi Minh, can we exchange links?”

    Another celebrity visits us!

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  16. We seem to have a spate of posts about albino leopard geckos today.

    Many of the 634 messages I just erased were in this vein: “When feeding your albino leopard gecko you need to make it possible for it will not be longer than its body or greater than half as vast as its head. You can find crickets, mealworms, silkworms, locusts, and wax worms are some of its favorite food.”

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  18. “How to Make My Penis Bigger” seems to be the key phrase du jour. (I believe the correct answer is “stimulate it,” if I remember correctly the reading I did back in sixth grade.)

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  20. > “How to Make My Penis Bigger” seems to be the key phrase du jour. (I believe the correct answer is “stimulate it,” if I remember correctly the reading I did back in sixth grade.)

    … which gives new meaning (or perhaps old meaning) to the du jour term “stimulus package”….

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  21. “Hi, was just browsing through the internet looking for some information and came across your blog” writes Bellaire plumbers TX. “I am impressed by the information that you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. Bookmarked this page, will come back for more. You, my friend, ROCK!!!”

    Hint: My friends do not tell me I “ROCK!!!”

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  26. “This is a great post. You’d never believe it, but these vibrating panties are absolutely comfortable,” writes Vito Sein. “Sometimes, I even wear them to work… I ordered these vibrating panties from Tickle. They’re only $74.99 on sale – I see them for more than 100 bucks.”

    Nothing more comfortable in the office than vibrating panties.

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  27. Wow! This is a poignant story of one man’s battle with prepared seafood, courtesy of Berry Dastoli:

    “I never thought that dating a gastronomic nature will be such unpleasant. The thing is, I adore canned fish, and as usual, bought at a local store two packages of fish meatballs in tomato sauce. Savoring the moment when I can finally get home, boil the potatoes, pour it hot and so tasty, sunflower oil, with a distinctive twang, open, anticipating the moment of absorption of fish balls, and with relish the whole thing to use under the pile, cold vodka, and then go to watch their favorite show.

    “In practice, everything seemed to just outrageous. But here’s the process of drinking problems. Acquaintance with such a low quality canned food, production of the city of Rybinsk, I have met only once, when he served in the north, then we fed the contents of the tin containers a 30-year-old, although no one was poisoned and died, but the hospital with the problems of the gastrointestinal tract lie had. Half an hour later I felt a malaise, fever, and I longed bursting.

    “Since then, I hate the town of Rybinsk, and all of its residents who work in fish processing.”

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  28. This We Laid: “If you are realyy serious about having your own chickens and don’t want to cause them unnessecary stress, download a free plan on how to build a spacesious chicken coop,” Alba Bowdich writes. “There is no better feeling than having your children takeing care of their chickens and them being proud of their own layed eggs!

    “Please check out this facebook page, we are trying to become a big resource on owning chickens so please share your stories, pictures, plans and what not!”

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  29. “The very root of your writing while appearing agreeable at first, did not work properly with me after some time. Somewhere within the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a very short while. I still have a problem with your leaps in assumptions and one might do well to fill in all those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I could definitely be fascinated.”

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